Mom's traits
My mom died 28 years ago. She was 59. Young.
One the traits that I admired most about her was her belief in the basic goodness of people. She believed in the best of people. She always thought that people, if given a chance, would want to do the right thing.
My mom was a hard charging optimist. She followed a path that few women of her time chose to march down. She loved ideas and loved to debate the issues. She was a lively conversationalist and people liked to talk to her. She was an initiator, but not much of a closer. However, I suspect that she was not really taken seriously by her peers. She was too loud, too brash and too unconventional for her times.
After college, she settled down in what was considered a man's business. Because she was smart, she was able to succeed where others just made a living. I suspect she probably generated a lot of resentment and hostility. In her day, a woman was supposed to take care of the home (not the business).
However, my mom was not a particularly, sensitive soul. She did not look to others for her self-esteem or sense of self. In the beginning, I think the whispers and furtive looks were like water off her back. She was rushing ahead and did not notice. In the beginning, everything was new and she was able to implement novel strategies. She was definitely excited about future possibilities.
As she got older, I believe she became restless and bored with her life. She probably felt trapped by the decisions she made and actions she took. She married a man for the wrong reasons and had two children she did not understand. She divorced in anger. She lived in a world where her peers were poorly educated and uninterested in the realm of ideas.
She was stagnating and did not know what to do. I believe that was why she started to drink. It made life's disappointments easier to overlook. Unfortunately, my mom was also a I could have been a contender kind of person. She never accepted the idea that life works.
Finally, in 1965, she remarried my father. Another mistake. However, it allowed her to walk away from the business world, become a world traveler and a grandmother. She learned to bake, sew, garden, and other womanly duties. She completely gave up drinking.
I moved back home in 1973 to finish at the University. My mom and I finally became friends. We talked about many things and she did a lot for me. She drove me to the university each day and often picked me up. It was as though she had finally become a mother to me. I felt that she really enjoyed these activities. She perked up because I may have given her a new outlet for her energies.
I feel sad as I write these words. My mom was a good woman who tried to extract herself from the role society had demanded of her. She just never took the plunge for freedom. She was torn by her responsibilities to her mother, her siblings, her children and the fullfillment of her basic needs. She wanted to be free but was unable to pay the price.
She died in 1977.
One the traits that I admired most about her was her belief in the basic goodness of people. She believed in the best of people. She always thought that people, if given a chance, would want to do the right thing.
My mom was a hard charging optimist. She followed a path that few women of her time chose to march down. She loved ideas and loved to debate the issues. She was a lively conversationalist and people liked to talk to her. She was an initiator, but not much of a closer. However, I suspect that she was not really taken seriously by her peers. She was too loud, too brash and too unconventional for her times.
After college, she settled down in what was considered a man's business. Because she was smart, she was able to succeed where others just made a living. I suspect she probably generated a lot of resentment and hostility. In her day, a woman was supposed to take care of the home (not the business).
However, my mom was not a particularly, sensitive soul. She did not look to others for her self-esteem or sense of self. In the beginning, I think the whispers and furtive looks were like water off her back. She was rushing ahead and did not notice. In the beginning, everything was new and she was able to implement novel strategies. She was definitely excited about future possibilities.
As she got older, I believe she became restless and bored with her life. She probably felt trapped by the decisions she made and actions she took. She married a man for the wrong reasons and had two children she did not understand. She divorced in anger. She lived in a world where her peers were poorly educated and uninterested in the realm of ideas.
She was stagnating and did not know what to do. I believe that was why she started to drink. It made life's disappointments easier to overlook. Unfortunately, my mom was also a I could have been a contender kind of person. She never accepted the idea that life works.
Finally, in 1965, she remarried my father. Another mistake. However, it allowed her to walk away from the business world, become a world traveler and a grandmother. She learned to bake, sew, garden, and other womanly duties. She completely gave up drinking.
I moved back home in 1973 to finish at the University. My mom and I finally became friends. We talked about many things and she did a lot for me. She drove me to the university each day and often picked me up. It was as though she had finally become a mother to me. I felt that she really enjoyed these activities. She perked up because I may have given her a new outlet for her energies.
I feel sad as I write these words. My mom was a good woman who tried to extract herself from the role society had demanded of her. She just never took the plunge for freedom. She was torn by her responsibilities to her mother, her siblings, her children and the fullfillment of her basic needs. She wanted to be free but was unable to pay the price.
She died in 1977.
posted by MRS at
5:52 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home